"i often felt forgotten"

It is often difficult and challenging, however normal too, for a child to feel neglected by their parents whilst growing up, especially if they live in the same house as seven other siblings. Bashu Das is the youngest of the eight children that his parents have. Working an eight-hour job as a security guard and sharing a room with six other people, Bashu detailed to me his ardencies about making a living in a city as large and arduous as Bangalore. As we sat under the tall palm trees that hovered over us, Bashu relayed and documented his story, telling me about how at one point in his childhood, he felt forgotten.

Why did you migrate? What is your story like?

I love travelling, even though I can’t do much of it. I enjoy exploring new cultures and diversities. As a child, I used to look forward to travelling to my grandmother’s house on the mountain, where my family and I would trek. Part of the reason I moved is also because of my family. I am the youngest of eight children, and I grew up in the shadows of my siblings. All of them were better than me at everything, whether it was studies, helping at home or just being adored by my parents. I was never allowed to play the same games as them, share the same things as them; they wouldn’t let me. I never felt included, I was the child who was pushed out of everything, the child that no one listened to or wanted to be friends with. I started to keep to myself and often felt forgotten and neglected by my parents too, who often said that I am of no use and should learn from my brothers. It was when I was sixteen that I decided to leave home, and pursue my passion for traveling. With the little money that I had from working at a bookstore and selling newspapers, I decided to set out to explore. When I came to Bangalore, I fell in love with the weather and the food and decided to settle down here and work.

Bashu Das, from Assam, moved to Bangalore 3 years ago

What was the most difficult part about leaving? What is the most difficult part now?

My family, of course. My childhood and the way I felt a few years ago has no impact on my feelings toward my family now, I still love them and miss home everyday. I try and keep in touch over the phone, but every time I hear their voices my throat goes dry and I feel like crying. But I love my new life here in Bangalore. I love the climate, the people who are extremely warm and welcoming, and the food, that I have strangely found comfort in. Nevertheless, this large city often scares me. I know that a city this large and diverse can be dangerous and ruthless too and that’s my biggest fear living here. I have heard many frightening stories and that’s why I have been careful to find and make my place here.

How do you think migration has changed you?

Migration has helped me in understanding and respecting the fact that people and their cultures are different. In my opinion, I have become more fearless and independent. Migration has helped me to take risks and be daring. I have learned to appreciate true diversity and fully grasp that one’s roots are the most important things. When moving halfway across the country, I now fully understand that I must remember where I’m from and never forget my values and morals, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me going on my bad days.

Migration is hard. Where do you find your strengths in difficult times?

Like I said, roots are the most important. Although I have adopted new morals and cultural customs here, I have never forgotten where I’m originally from and what my values and ambitions are. When I am having a bad day, or going through a challenging phase, I try and recall some of the good memories of my childhood, like swimming in the water hole, or climbing trees and eating mangoes. Thinking about these moments get me going and although they bring nostalgia they also create a rush of happiness and motivation to work harder and harder everyday and make my parents proud.

If someone you knew were planning on coming to this city, what would you tell them to expect?

I would tell them that they are probably making one the best decisions of their lives and that they would not find a place more comforting or heartwarming to live in. But I would also wish them the best of luck and advise them to be aware, there are challenges with the perks, there are consequences for every action. They may feel protected, but the world is ruthless and they need to be strong and confident. I would also tell them to expect traffic and to respect the language, food and customs; I learnt it the hard way.

Thank you, Bashu.

Interacting with Bashu helped me to grasp and be thankful for my family and my culture. Something I took away from this meaningful conversation, was how clear Bashu is in terms of his ambitions and decisions, he knows his values and morals and he knows his path in life. He followed his heart and he did what he truly loves; travelling. In the 20 minutes that I interacted with him, he taught me to live everyday doing what I love. To conclude he told me to “follow my heart and not my mind.”